ESY Is Over

It's Sunday night, I'm tired and trying to get over a sinus infection. Common sense is telling me to go to bed. You see Gabriel doesn't have summer school tomorrow, his extended school year finished on Friday. I hate to admit this but I'm having some serious anxiety about having him home all day. My son is relatively low maintenance as long as a few things are in place: the TV, the computer, yogurt in the fridge and ice cream before bed. As long as he's watching his favorite Nick Jr. or Sprout shows or playing Nick Jr. online he's content with life. Since we only have one TV in our house, often times in the summer or weekends or after school there's competition for the TV or computer and he loses free reign and unlimited time and then can become a bit unbearable.



Now, I hate to admit this ( again??) but we let him spend afternoon's in front of the TV or computer due to fact that it's easy for us. We know where he is and he's content. However I have come to realize that it's not healthy for him to be in front of the TV or computer for hours on end, I get sick of watching Dora or running to the TV every 25 minutes to start another ON DEMAND Zoboomafoo episode. So, that leaves me with the question what am I going to do with the child who really doesn't want to do anything? You see, I've never been the mom who plays with their children. I take them places, feed them, read to them, push them on a swing things like that. I'm not crafty, won't pull out board games or bake with my kids. My hubby is that parent. He will play make believe with them, pitch to them, have Nerf wars and now that he has a daughter sit for a tea party.

I know that I am not alone when I say that having my child with special needs home all day causes me anxiety. However it is not an easy thing to admit because it makes me seem like a mom who doesn't want to be with my child or appreciates her child. I absolutely do enjoy being with my son and I so appreciate this beautiful little boy so very much. Yet, there are days when Gabriel rocks me to my core. Sometimes it's the fact that I don't know what he's saying or that I can't have a meaningful conversation with him. I know that he has tons to say it just gets lost in translation and we both get frustrated. Other times its his stubbornness. The boy can be extremely stubborn and difficult. He moves on his time not mine, not a good thing for mom. The potty thing is probably the hardest thing right now. I'm so over his poop, I can't even begin to tell anybody.

I have decided in my head and now on this post that I have to structure our time. I have to work with him for short periods of time, get out of the house and out to parks and have his brothers play with him so that I don't always feel that it's on me to do everything, after all I have 3 other kids, a house, husband and myself to look after too. I can get through the next 5 weeks and with a lot of prayer, laughter and a nice glass of wine to end my evenings I know I will.