Mom's Night Out

Tonight is MNO. My boys pointed out to me that I belonged to two different MNO groups. I told them that they were right, one is a Down syndrome mom's group and the other is for #2's cub scout den mom's. I thought that that would suffice them, when I was asked "witch one is your favorite?" That question threw me of guard because I hadn't really thought about it in that context. Are we allowed to have "favorites" when it comes to our social circles? As mom's we're not allowed to have favorite children right?



So, I had to think about my girlfriends, who are they? What group of woman do I identify with the most and why? How did I form my relationships with my girlfriends? I feel fortunate to have always been surrounded by friends. In elementary school I had my core group of friends, yet it was very easy for me to migrate to different groups and feel included. Today of that group, one girlfriend and I remain very close. The other members of that core group are still around and while we don't really keep in touch they will forever hold a special place in my heart.

I keep recalling an email chain letter I received about friends and how they come and go depending on where we are in our lives. I believe this to be very true. I also know that when it comes to my very close relationships, many of them are based on my children. My core group of gal pals I met because my oldest befriended their children. Then there are the woman I call my sisters in Down syndrome or sisters in special needs. With these woman, I share a profound connection. I don't need to explain things to them regarding my son or his diagnosis they just get because their journey is similar to mine. Then there's the group of friends I've made through cub scouts, church, neighborhood and sports. I sometimes feel like I don't put in a lot of effort into these relationships. My husband feels like I don't want to or feel the need. I don't believe that to be true, I believe that a lot of it is time in my life. I appreciate the time that I spend with these woman as they have great insights on faith, family, relationships and cooking. They make me laugh and are willing to be outraged with me when we experience challenges in our lives.

So, do I have a favorite group of friends? No, I don't. I'm so lucky to be affiliated with the amazing woman who make the time to spend an evening, afternoon or morning with me and who wish to do it over and over and over again.

It's Been A Long Time

It's been a long time since my last post...I think that I was correct in assuming that maybe I was not cut out for the world of blogging, but alas I will continue to make the effort as the urge to get my thoughts out continues to be strong. I've experienced so many things over the last 4 months. Some of them inspiring, some scary, some maddening and some outright hysterical.

• Over the last 4 months: My oldest son went away to boy scout camp. He spent a week away from home at a beautiful camp in the lovely town of Willits. He refused to write home because of all people, he needed a break from home.
• I realized that having no contact with my son was OK for the first 3-4 days. After that I couldn't stand it and cried when he called to say that he was home. I had run out to pick up a prescription and was annoyed that he got home earlier than expected.
• I also realized that one day my oldest amazing son will one day want to be a counselor at a boy scout camp and therefore will be gone most of the summer....I figure that I have maybe 3 more years before that happens. Ugh.
• Son #3 was finally potty trained. I can not tell you what it was that finally pushed me to make a concerted effort to get the kid out of Pull Ups and into "chones". I just woke up one day and said today's the day. No plan , no back up from hubby, just me and my boy. It wasn't easy. I cried, Gabes cried, hubby and I fought....but today I can say that my boy is all done with Pull Ups and life is good. I'll write more about our experience in case anybody out there needs an example.
• Our annual Yosemite camping trip wasn't what we expected but it was amazing nonetheless. Tuolomne Meadows is beautiful, cold at night and bears are active pretty early in the evening. We were finally faced with facing the disparity in our kids ages and abilities. We've realized that we either need to bring a caretaker with us or leave #3 behind if we want to be able to do more challenging physical activities....option two doesn't bode well with us.
• After thinking about the above point and feeling frustrated, sad, depressed and really, really upset with Down syndrome, Gabriel walked up Pot Hole Dome....again more to come on this.
• #1 started middle school. He was so ready to start and I was so excited for him. However I have to say that when he rode off on his bike, on his own to meet his buddies...I cried. Motherhood really is all about little goodbyes.
• #2 is in 4th grade. He and I were really hoping that he'd get this one amazing teacher. She wanted to have him, so we thought great it's all good. Well, he was placed in another class. My boy was so bummed, but I think that I was more bummed for him. He's in a great class, but secretly I'm still annoyed.
• #4 is in a dance class. I never thought that I'd be taking my daughter to dance class. It's so fun to watch her. Unfortunately I've realized that she's really not that coordinated.

There's more stuff and I hope to elaborate on some of the above while writing about current thoughts and happenings in my crazy world.